No more inferiority.

So, I have this problem.

I have a constant desire to be included. To feel needed. To be praised for my accomplishments. I find myself trying to impress others, to somehow make me feel like they will want me around more often.

What a childish way to live!

I had a friend high school who I always considered to be “above” me in social status. She was pretty, everyone liked her, and she was really good at all that she did. I think we all had that person to look at in our teen years.

As we have gotten older, married our spouses, and started our adult lives with babies and jobs, we have gravitated back towards each other with a common hobby we share.

I remember the first time she invited me to join the group for an activity. I got the text message, actually, it was probably a message on Facebook or something, but I was super uncomfortable with the idea of getting together. All those old feelings of feeling “less” than her started flooding back. For some reason though, I decided to go out of my comfort zone and join in the fun.

This circumstance happened 6+ years ago, and I haven’t been able to shake the feeling of inferiority! That is until recently.

When big moments happen in your life, the ones who love you most really shine through. They are the ones who make you feel included, who want to know how you are, and offer help in any way they can.

This certain friend who I always felt so inferior to is that person for me! The only way I realized it though, was when I decided to stop feeling inferior. I decided to look at myself in a different way. I decided to let her genuine friendship into my life. I realized that those friendships are actually really hard to come by, and it’s ridiculous to not let them in.

I still have the feelings of needing to impress, but they are getting easier to just let go. I now have friends that just want to be my friend, regardless of the things I am accomplishing in my life. They are just genuinely interested in ME.

Let people in. Let yourself be loved. Do not think of yourself as inferior. No one has it all together. We all have a crazy path in life that we are trying to navigate through. You’ll be surprised at how alike you are to the person you felt inferior to.

xo. Ellie.