Family, Finding Family, marriage

Stop texting your spouse.

We’ve been potty training the last couple weeks. Talk about rough! Who knew that something so simple would be one of the hardest things to teach your child. Hopefully he catches on soon. We’ve also had some sickness roll through our house this last weekend, so needless to say, we are a little low on sleep and patience around here!

Nevertheless, I had a topic that has been weighing on my mind lately and I wanted to share it!

Brandon never text me while we were dating. At the time, I thought it was extremely frustrating, and a little uncomfortable always talking on the phone. All of the other guys I had previously dated would text all the time, usually late into the night (which is probably why I struggled with school sometimes). So when that was the last thing that Brandon wanted to do, I really didn’t understand.

Texting is super convenient. I appreciate the fact that I can get a quick message out to someone and all they have to do is take a quick glance at their phone or watch and know exactly what I need. Things like, “Grab some milk on your way home” are things which definitely work in text form. But what happens when the only form of communication is through an electronic device?

One of the most frustrating things about text messages is that you really can’t tell the attitude of mood the person on the other end truly has. And I don’t care how many emoji’s you’re using. Are you laughing at me, crying, or laugh/crying with me? I don’t really know!

I first met Brandon at a soccer game. I was with some of my family, and we were talking on the sidelines before the game started. Brandon immediately started up a conversation with us, and my mom was super impressed. She enjoyed the fact that someone her daughter’s age actually wanted to have a meaningful conversation with her, rather than just her daughter. He included all of us in the conversation and she really appreciated that.

We all know that good communication is essential in a relationship. So why are we hiding behind a screen when we are trying to communicate with the people closest to us? For me, I really enjoy actually hearing about my husbands day while looking at his face, or hearing his voice, rather than just through words I’m reading on a screen. You understand the emotion, what was good and bad, and what they really went through that day. What about when you are making a decision involving your kids? “Should Johnny be going to public school or charter school?”, “Should he be playing soccer, football, taking gymnastics and piano lessons? Or just one.” These are conversations that probably need more discussion, and really should be had in a place where you can hear or see the other person. We need to stop hiding behind the screens that are so convenient for us and knuckle down and have the tough talks face to face. Have you ever really been in a conversation where a person pours out their heart to you? It changes the course of your relationship. It creates a special bond between the two people and brings them much closer together.

So, take my advice, and follow the example of my wonderful husband. Make those important conversations count and do them over the phone or in person. Make the bonds stronger between you and those you want to be closest with.

xo. ellie.