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Family, Finding Family, marriage

Stop texting your spouse.

We’ve been potty training the last couple weeks. Talk about rough! Who knew that something so simple would be one of the hardest things to teach your child. Hopefully he catches on soon. We’ve also had some sickness roll through our house this last weekend, so needless to say, we are a little low on sleep and patience around here!

Nevertheless, I had a topic that has been weighing on my mind lately and I wanted to share it!

Brandon never text me while we were dating. At the time, I thought it was extremely frustrating, and a little uncomfortable always talking on the phone. All of the other guys I had previously dated would text all the time, usually late into the night (which is probably why I struggled with school sometimes). So when that was the last thing that Brandon wanted to do, I really didn’t understand.

Texting is super convenient. I appreciate the fact that I can get a quick message out to someone and all they have to do is take a quick glance at their phone or watch and know exactly what I need. Things like, “Grab some milk on your way home” are things which definitely work in text form. But what happens when the only form of communication is through an electronic device?

One of the most frustrating things about text messages is that you really can’t tell the attitude of mood the person on the other end truly has. And I don’t care how many emoji’s you’re using. Are you laughing at me, crying, or laugh/crying with me? I don’t really know!

I first met Brandon at a soccer game. I was with some of my family, and we were talking on the sidelines before the game started. Brandon immediately started up a conversation with us, and my mom was super impressed. She enjoyed the fact that someone her daughter’s age actually wanted to have a meaningful conversation with her, rather than just her daughter. He included all of us in the conversation and she really appreciated that.

We all know that good communication is essential in a relationship. So why are we hiding behind a screen when we are trying to communicate with the people closest to us? For me, I really enjoy actually hearing about my husbands day while looking at his face, or hearing his voice, rather than just through words I’m reading on a screen. You understand the emotion, what was good and bad, and what they really went through that day. What about when you are making a decision involving your kids? “Should Johnny be going to public school or charter school?”, “Should he be playing soccer, football, taking gymnastics and piano lessons? Or just one.” These are conversations that probably need more discussion, and really should be had in a place where you can hear or see the other person. We need to stop hiding behind the screens that are so convenient for us and knuckle down and have the tough talks face to face. Have you ever really been in a conversation where a person pours out their heart to you? It changes the course of your relationship. It creates a special bond between the two people and brings them much closer together.

So, take my advice, and follow the example of my wonderful husband. Make those important conversations count and do them over the phone or in person. Make the bonds stronger between you and those you want to be closest with.

xo. ellie.

Finding Success

The art of being content.

Why is the grass always greener? Better irrigation system? Could be, but they might have also paid more for that system.

Maybe there’s more sun or better dirt? That could be too, they could have also paid more for that as well, at least the dirt.

Sometimes the grass is greener because it’s planted in a climate that is better suited for green grass. Maybe it’s that you aren’t putting in the work for green grass or maybe the green grass wont work where you live.

Then comes the question, why do you even want green grass? The grass may be greener, but is it better than what you have? After all, you may live in a desert. However, if you do want green grass, maybe you could move to where green grass makes sense, or you could put in the extra work/money for greener grass? Herein lies a problem. Once you have the greener grass you may miss your xeriscape or you may notice next to someone else’s green grass they have a really nice car. You may even realize they actually got rid of their green grass because they envied your xeriscape or were tired of paying the water bill, putting in all the extra work, etc. Now that the grass isn’t greener on the other side, are you now happy having the green grass?

Brandon.

Uncategorized

No more inferiority.

So, I have this problem.

I have a constant desire to be included. To feel needed. To be praised for my accomplishments. I find myself trying to impress others, to somehow make me feel like they will want me around more often.

What a childish way to live!

I had a friend high school who I always considered to be “above” me in social status. She was pretty, everyone liked her, and she was really good at all that she did. I think we all had that person to look at in our teen years.

As we have gotten older, married our spouses, and started our adult lives with babies and jobs, we have gravitated back towards each other with a common hobby we share.

I remember the first time she invited me to join the group for an activity. I got the text message, actually, it was probably a message on Facebook or something, but I was super uncomfortable with the idea of getting together. All those old feelings of feeling “less” than her started flooding back. For some reason though, I decided to go out of my comfort zone and join in the fun.

This circumstance happened 6+ years ago, and I haven’t been able to shake the feeling of inferiority! That is until recently.

When big moments happen in your life, the ones who love you most really shine through. They are the ones who make you feel included, who want to know how you are, and offer help in any way they can.

This certain friend who I always felt so inferior to is that person for me! The only way I realized it though, was when I decided to stop feeling inferior. I decided to look at myself in a different way. I decided to let her genuine friendship into my life. I realized that those friendships are actually really hard to come by, and it’s ridiculous to not let them in.

I still have the feelings of needing to impress, but they are getting easier to just let go. I now have friends that just want to be my friend, regardless of the things I am accomplishing in my life. They are just genuinely interested in ME.

Let people in. Let yourself be loved. Do not think of yourself as inferior. No one has it all together. We all have a crazy path in life that we are trying to navigate through. You’ll be surprised at how alike you are to the person you felt inferior to.

xo. Ellie.

belief in God, faith, marriage, parenting, success

Finding Edelweiss

Every night before our little boy goes to bed he asks us to sing songs. You know how kids are with their bedtime routine, if you miss something, they will not go to sleep until you do it. The song he always asks us to sing to him is “Edelweiss” from The Sound of Music.

As we were brainstorming about what to name the blog, we started thinking about when our happiest moments occur. I don’t know about you, but there is just something about looking at a sleeping child that makes your heart swoon. It’s like all of the terrible two-year-old things they did during the day are forgiven as you watch them sleep. So, one of the happiest moments that we get to experience every night, is when our little boy asks us to sing “Edelweiss” as he falls asleep.

This blog is meant to help spread happy, or as we like to think of it, edelweiss. We are an average couple, going through this crazy thing called life. We find it therapeutic to put our experiences, conversations, thoughts and impressions, into writing, to not only help us, but to maybe help someone else find their own edelweiss.

So please, join us on this journey through writing as we try to find out what that is, and become a stronger couple, parent, or individual in the process. Let us know what you think, we’d love to hear from you.